So I changed...
I had no other choice. Kawaranakya ikenai yo.
The third family.
Since last Saturday. That makes 4/5 Days.
I hate it.
I cry.
I want to go back.
I loved the one before so much ...
And I don't like the one that I'm with right now.
I'm really in dispair right now.
They think I stay with them until I go back to Germany.
But I heard before from my old hostdad, that I will change back to them for the last month.
And now? The new one booked I flight to Okinawa, an Island of Japan, for vacation with me.
Nice, hm? But They booked it in the last month that I'm here. the last week before I go back.
When I came here last Saturday, they asked me, if I'm okay with the date. I said "not really". But today I came home from school and the two little girls came running to me, smiling because THEY're happy, not carrying about MY feelings. They booked it. I want to use the last days to spent time with my friends here, before I maybe won't see them ever again. I want to use the last time here, to do what I WANT.
Because now... I'm in that cage again.
I live in the children's room, and they are really really noisy, annoying and get on my nervs. I have headache every evening, stress, no free time/space for my own, I can't relax. And I'm always close to crying.
And on top of that, everything changes against me. Might be just imagination. But it feels like that. My parents aren't online that I can talk to them, I'm not allowed to go out as often as before (once a week is too much for them.), and a lot of little simple things, like the train just leaves when I arrive at the platform, it starts to rain when I get out of the school, ...
Somebody help me away from here.
In the end, a questionaire I took from Denni's blog:
Three names you answer to:
Lara
Lala
Lala-chan
Three online-names you used:
Gumminerva
Gulliwary
Inabikari
Three things you like on your body:
my eyes,
hair,
...?
Three things you don't like on your body:
The whole shape,
My skin,
my "Overbody" ? torso...
Three things you're afraid of:
Loosing contact to my friends
get fucked up at 12th grade coz I missed one year
That my granny dies
Three of your daily needs:
Music
Friends
some Activity, no matter what
Three things you're wearing right now:
Our official T-shirt from the Japan-Tour
Training-pants which my last hostmum bought for me
A necklace, which i recieved from my old hostbrother as a present
Three of your favorite Bands or Artists:
AC/DC
Led Zepplin
Salvador Dalí
Three of your favorite songs:
November Rain - Guns n' Roses
Kodou - Dir en grey
Stairway To Heaven - Lep Zepplin
Two truths and a lie:
I want to live in Japan one day
I love Hamburg as much as Tokyo
My biggest dream ever is/was to become genius in playing Guitar and to play it in a band
Three things you find attractive about your preferred gender's apperance:
The back... I have a special preferred shape of a male back xD
Own style for clothes + interesting/funny/creative hairstyle
a little femaleish face...
Three of your favorite hobbys:
Drawing/Painting
Make/Listen to music
Westernriding
Three things u'd really like to do right now:
Be far away from this place, with Mario or my friends, preferred on the Sea - just watching the waves come and break.
Change back to my old host family
Do the Japan Tour again
Three carriers you're considering / have considered:
Make-up Artist
Costume Designer
Professor for Japanese Studies
Three places you'd like to make holidays at:
NY
Italy
My Granny's house
Three children names you like:
Kaori
Frederick
Maria (english spelling or spanish... not the german one)
Three things you want to do before you die:
See as much of the world as possible
Live my own life with a good job and the person I love
Be able to speak Japanese fluently
Three reasons why you're a stereotype girl:
I like Make-Up and Shopping for clothes
I do Horse-Riding
...
Three famous people you're in love with:
hide (rip...)
Jake Gyllenhaal ...
...
Three people who you'd like to do this quiz:
Affi
Mario
My Brother
+++
love, lala
Wednesday 11 April 2007
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3 comments:
I already did the quiz!
And again, I'm so damn sorry that I messed up with our skype meeting, I really am. >__< Please don't be angry at me...
Even though they already booked that flight, can't you ask rotary to let you change back?
Grace once told me about another Rotary student who hated his new family so his old one took him back...
And for once, I can really really understand how you feel. I know what it's like to be in the place in the world that can bring you 100% of happyness but you get chains on from your hostfamily. As well as having to spend the very last moments of Japan not in the place where you're friends are. (For me it was Nagano, even though I liked the family there, but I didn't choose the date I got there...)
But after I was back here, I thought it was maybe better for me to have left from Nagano, not Sendai.
That way you have more time to adjust back to your old life, to get used to the thought of being back. Even though the important part of the japanese friends is already missing you still got the country itself. I don't know if it was just me, but think about it, maybe you'll feel different about it then.
Try to focus on the good things you've got left and at least you still got your ケタイto contact friends!
~ Love you forever ~
PS: I sent you the package yesterday!
PS
マリオのビデオを見たよ！本当に変わったね、彼は！羅々と同じ時々キモイと思った！(笑）
でもギターはとくいだね！
がんばってね、羅々！
aaaaaah,
lala, i love you so much!
the future brings good things, you see? just look forward!
there are always good and bad times, just hope for the good times >.<
i'm so happy about that you just told me ^^
we'll be together like in bullerbü^^
lol..
i miss you soooo much and i'm so damn happy when i see you again! ^^
<3 love you <3
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