Final Destination O_o

So I changed...
I had no other choice. Kawaranakya ikenai yo.
The third family.
Since last Saturday. That makes 4/5 Days.
I hate it.
I cry.
I want to go back.
I loved the one before so much ...
And I don't like the one that I'm with right now.
I'm really in dispair right now.
They think I stay with them until I go back to Germany.
But I heard before from my old hostdad, that I will change back to them for the last month.
And now? The new one booked I flight to Okinawa, an Island of Japan, for vacation with me.
Nice, hm? But They booked it in the last month that I'm here. the last week before I go back.
When I came here last Saturday, they asked me, if I'm okay with the date. I said "not really". But today I came home from school and the two little girls came running to me, smiling because THEY're happy, not carrying about MY feelings. They booked it. I want to use the last days to spent time with my friends here, before I maybe won't see them ever again. I want to use the last time here, to do what I WANT.
Because now... I'm in that cage again.
I live in the children's room, and they are really really noisy, annoying and get on my nervs. I have headache every evening, stress, no free time/space for my own, I can't relax. And I'm always close to crying.
And on top of that, everything changes against me. Might be just imagination. But it feels like that. My parents aren't online that I can talk to them, I'm not allowed to go out as often as before (once a week is too much for them.), and a lot of little simple things, like the train just leaves when I arrive at the platform, it starts to rain when I get out of the school, ...
Somebody help me away from here.

In the end, a questionaire I took from Denni's blog:

Three names you answer to:
Lara
Lala
Lala-chan

Three online-names you used:
Gumminerva
Gulliwary
Inabikari

Three things you like on your body:
my eyes,
hair,
...?

Three things you don't like on your body:
The whole shape,
My skin,
my "Overbody" ? torso...

Three things you're afraid of:
Loosing contact to my friends
get fucked up at 12th grade coz I missed one year
That my granny dies

Three of your daily needs:
Music
Friends
some Activity, no matter what

Three things you're wearing right now:
Our official T-shirt from the Japan-Tour
Training-pants which my last hostmum bought for me
A necklace, which i recieved from my old hostbrother as a present

Three of your favorite Bands or Artists:
AC/DC
Led Zepplin
Salvador Dalí

Three of your favorite songs:
November Rain - Guns n' Roses
Kodou - Dir en grey
Stairway To Heaven - Lep Zepplin

Two truths and a lie:
I want to live in Japan one day
I love Hamburg as much as Tokyo
My biggest dream ever is/was to become genius in playing Guitar and to play it in a band

Three things you find attractive about your preferred gender's apperance:
The back... I have a special preferred shape of a male back xD
Own style for clothes + interesting/funny/creative hairstyle
a little femaleish face...

Three of your favorite hobbys:
Drawing/Painting
Make/Listen to music
Westernriding

Three things u'd really like to do right now:
Be far away from this place, with Mario or my friends, preferred on the Sea - just watching the waves come and break.
Change back to my old host family
Do the Japan Tour again

Three carriers you're considering / have considered:
Make-up Artist
Costume Designer
Professor for Japanese Studies

Three places you'd like to make holidays at:
NY
Italy
My Granny's house

Three children names you like:
Kaori
Frederick
Maria (english spelling or spanish... not the german one)

Three things you want to do before you die:
See as much of the world as possible
Live my own life with a good job and the person I love
Be able to speak Japanese fluently

Three reasons why you're a stereotype girl:
I like Make-Up and Shopping for clothes
I do Horse-Riding
...

Three famous people you're in love with:
hide (rip...)
Jake Gyllenhaal ...
...

Three people who you'd like to do this quiz:
Affi
Mario
My Brother

+++
love, lala